Archive for silent film

Metropolis (1927)

Posted in Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2010 by filmplanetasylum
metropolis poster

This image is really tall!

Metropolis is a funny film about funny people doing funny things. Such as, fly Bi-Planes. Create machine hookers. And move obnoxiously large clock hands into various positions to keep the water pressure from exploding nasty water vapor that can cause 3rd degree burns or instant death. Unless you are a robot. Essentially, it mirrors the modern world exactly! What a coincidence. Fritz Lang is a time traveler. Or a witch. Either way, there are only two options: Burn his corpse at the stake, you know, just for the principal of the matter. Or, get drunk and run around naked, stark raving mad, for no good reason, and sit down to watch Metropolis. Drunk. and Naked. Okay, skip the naked part. Let’s just watch Metropolis drunk and theorize on the nature of the time travel device/pagan black magic involved.

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Sherlock, Jr. (1924)

Posted in Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2010 by filmplanetasylum
Sherlock Jr poster art

This is fucking EPIC.

There are too many good things to say about Sherlock, Jr. This is the second Buster Keaton feature I’m reviewing. Perhaps I am getting self indulgent? Pish posh! Nonsense! I revel in mindless self indulgence, there can never be enough Buster Keaton, and this is perhaps his greatest work yet! Witness the true master of silent self indulgence, the pimp master suave motherfucka side splitting heart attack inducing laugh attack mastermind.

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Our Hospitality (1923)

Posted in Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2010 by filmplanetasylum

 

Our Hospitality title screen

Now THAT is classy.

 

Our Hospitality is hilarious. Buster Keaton was a genius of silent film comedy. This is more amusing than bullshit like Old Dogs. Now, I’ve never seen Old Dogs, but I guarantee on the lives of several of my unborn children, that I am correct. This is the oldest movie I have ever reviewed, older than Sunrise by a solid 4 years! Now that is old, and this is a whole different ballgame.

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Sunrise (1927)

Posted in Movie Reviews with tags , , , , , , on September 30, 2010 by filmplanetasylum

 

Sunrise A song of two humans

Shit is OLD.

 

Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans, directed by the original gangsta F.W. Murnau, is a silent film about some country shmuck who cheats on his wife with a bitch city girl. You can tell she is a bitch city girl because she is dressed in shiny velvety leather and she smokes cigarettes. Bitches like to smoke, I can tell you that from experience. Many people would find this kind of film boring and dumb, but I find it fascinating as a history lesson. This kind of shit was James Cameron’s Titanic back in 1927.

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