Closely Watched Trains was major OMGWTFLOL. In other words, sheer brilliance many orders of magnitude greater than the idiocy of my choice of net speak, but I digress. This is a film almost nobody has heard of, but any self respecting film buff owes it to their genitals to witness this sexually charged Word War 2 drama that speaks to the inner virgins of us all. Prepare to be aroused.